Enter Gunner Part 2

...continued...

The 3 hour drive to Missoula was long and painful. Matt and I talked a little but mostly I just prayed, silently, and mentally replayed the previous 48 hours. How did we get here?

 

Flash back a few weeks, and I am telling Matt how much I was looking forward to a mini-vacation in the hospital when baby #4 arrived.  I was looking forward to recovering slowly in the hospital, eating meals prepared by another's hands, snuggling and bonding with my new baby, enjoying visits from friends and family, watching hours of HGTV, napping during quiet times. My plans.

Speeding down the interstate, still in pain from my c-section, fearing my son might die, headed to an unfamiliar city/hospital...things were not going as planned.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

My heart, my lips had repeated Proverbs 19:21 over and again in the 9 months prior...when I learned I was unexpectedly pregnant, sooner than we had planned...when I was still vomiting 5 months in to the pregnancy...when my water broke 4 weeks early...when Matt exclaimed "Another boy!" and I was sure it was to be a girl. The Lord's purpose prevails.

When Gunner boarded the aircraft, he was in stable condition and receiving expert care.  Yet, I was fearful he would die in the time it took to fly him to Missoula's NICU. I was fearful that we would arrive at the hospital and they would tell us, "Sorry, we did everything we could but..." So, I prayed...

"Ok, Lord, Your purpose prevails, and I know Your purpose is my good.  I know You love me more than anyone has ever loved me, so help me surrender to and embrace Your purpose here."

He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Romans 8:28 (MSG)

After what seemed like a lifetime, we arrived in Missoula. It was Valentine's Day, 8pm or so, and the parking lot at Community Medical Center was pretty empty. It took me forever to shuffle my way to the front desk - darn c-section! 

"We're here for Gunner Schuyler." 

 I searched the face and eyes of the kind woman at the desk. 

"Oh yes, right this way." 

I nearly collapsed with relief. He made it, we made it, no one is saying, "Sorry, but...". 

Relief. 

Joy. 

Excitement to see my boy.

We entered the NICU and it was clear Gunner was in good hands. It was quiet and calm. No one was frantic or nervous. And Gunner was sleeping peacefully and deeply. He was completely exhausted from working so dang hard to breathe, but we could see that he was comfortable and stable.

 

Little G in his Missoula accommodations.  There were 7 other babies in the NICU with him - the facility supports up to 24 babies. He had fantastic nurses and doctors.

Matt and I left the hospital that night confident our son would recover fully.  Gunner had some work ahead of him...he would need his lungs to heal completely, gradually get off all the machines - oxygen, IV, warming bed - and prove himself capable of managing those things on his own, gain some weight, and keep his bilirubin count down. We knew our 'warrior' could do it. 

We headed to the Ronald McDonald House and were pleased to find it was within walking distance of the hospital.  I could go on and on about the Ronald McDonald House - ask me about it some time. It is...

Amazing.

Quiet and clean without feeling sterile.

Homey.

Organized.

Run almost entirely by volunteers.

A great mercy for those with sick children. 

A ministry we will support from now on.

 

 At this point, G was not yet able to nurse, but he would nibble and suck on the tape on his lip.

Our "room" at Community Medical Center. G had progressed out of the warming bed into a regular bed. We celebrated every improvement - however small.

Almost wire-free...he still had an IV. Mama is tired but so happy to hold her boy.

Enough of the wires had been removed so that even Daddy felt comfortable holding G Man. I love these boys. I am beyond thankful for my husband - thankful for his confidence in God's goodness, his well-timed humor, the way his strengths/weaknesses complement my strengths/weaknesses, the faithfulness in which he loves me and our boys.

Gunner's skin would react at the IV insertion point and it would have to be moved every other day or so. After both hands and feet were used, his head was the next best insertion point. I hated that. "It doesn't bother him - he probably doesn't even feel it," they told me. I still hated it.

Each day, Gunner G would grow a little bit stronger, do a little bit more on his own, and have one more tube/wire removed.  Don't get me wrong, it was exhausting having to be at the NICU every 3 hours to nurse him, all the hand washing and following protocol, maneuvering around 6-8 wires/tubes just to hold my baby, saving dirty diapers so they could be weighed, asking permission to care for my son, and keeping everyone back home informed. But we could see an end in sight. We could look forward to being at home with all our boys. We could breathe a little bit easier. And we focused on the many, many things we had to be thankful for.

 

...give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

 

Last hurdle, Little Peanut passed his car seat test and is ready to go home!

As you know, Double G (Gunner George), healed quickly and was released from the hospital a week from his admittance date. (We were told, at the beginning, that it could take several weeks for his lungs to heal.) This is Gunner's lively entrance into the world. This is his story. And it's part of my story and Matt's. And it is good.

In an effort to wrap this up, (this post is getting loooooong), some bullet point thoughts...

• When you know, know, God loves you, you can endure any trial and receive it with assurance that He will sustain you, that He will be strong for you, that He has good things for you to receive along the way. He sustained us; He loved us through the hands and prayers and encouragement of others.
• There is always someone suffering more than you, always someone with a harder road than you...always.  So, try hard not to complain. We met a young couple who's sweet baby girl had been in the NICU for 3 weeks and had 3 weeks still to go. They had no car. They had no money. They had no jobs. Another couple's baby had been in the NICU for 8 months. Don't complain.
• Hold your plans loosely. Receive God's plans with joy.
• Grammie's house and poptarts are my boys' idea of vacation. I worried, needlessly, that they were confused and sad about what was going on. They were living it up with their grandparents, eating poptarts, and sweetly oblivious.  
• We are blessed, blessed, with Godly family and friends on whom we can rely. This is huge and many people don't have that. Shout out to my tireless Mama who cared for the boys while we were in Missoula for the week and stayed another week to help us adjust to life with an added family member. Love you, Mama!
• God has given us four boys for His purpose and we are striving to raise them up into Godly men who "will be called oaks of righteousness,a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:3

  

Home...at long last.

Brothers.

Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see.

~ Corrie ten Boom ~